Yesterday I was very disappointed in myself. I stepped on the scale and still saw the number 278. I thought that the weight should come off faster. Wasn't I doing everything I should? What am I doing wrong? This morning I stepped on the scale and saw the same number give or take a few ounces...well it was more like "give" a few ounces but probably because of the water I drank. I have been keeping a log of my weight loss in a little notebook. I keep it in my purse along with my "big" pictures of myself so that I can pull it out any time I need to. I calculated my weight loss in weeks and discovered this: Since Ty was born a year ago I have lost 41 pounds and since I started really trying to loose weight on May 2nd I have lost twenty. Today marks about seven weeks I have been actively dieting which calculates to about 2.85 pounds lost per week. When I saw those numbers I didn't feel to bad. I think about a two pound weight loss per week is healthy. What do you guys thing?
Yesterday was Fathers day! I was to go to my dads house and have a BBQ. I bought chips and cheese dip and fruit and a yummy chocolate peanut butter desert. In my head I said to myself on the way to my dads "Ive done so well, I'm going to eat whatever I want today." Something in my head told me I shouldn't but it was a true battle. Before I got there I pulled out the "big" pictures in my purse and looked at them. It was then that I realized that I couldn't eat whatever I wanted that day. So instead of pigging out on the chips and desert, I enjoyed watching my dad pig out on all his fathers day treats while I consumed my Texas cantaloupe I brought. I skipped desert and instead had a cup of coffee. Because I made those choices I allowed myself to have a baked potato with my steak. It felt really good to stay on plan.
I realized that if I am going to loose the last 128 pounds that I have to loose then I can not have those days ware I think I can eat whatever I want because I deserve it. Instead I will treat myself to tiny things like a baked potato or corn on the cob...or a cup of chocolate coffee. (yummy!)
I do need to get some more recent pictures of myself here on the blog and in my purse. It really is a big tool for me to be able to look at myself and not justify my bad eating habits. I am proud of myself but the truth is I am still very obese.
Twenty pounds has brought on some good changes for me. My feet have almost entirely stopped hurting. My "sexy jeans" are almost comfortable while sitting and I am waring them more and more, and my circulation in my legs is improving.
What a hard road this is.