Thursday, September 30, 2010


The scale is moving down. I have lots to share but no time to share it. I just wanted to update my weight and check in. Im still trucking along.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


This weekend I recorded a new video. It was decorated with me doing some new country line dance work out moves from a new video I bought. Its ready and sitting on my computer....but, after watching it back last night I decided that It was to embarrassing to post.

Can you believe that I would be to chicken to post a video? Especially after I made such a fool of myself doing the "thriller" here on line. (sigh)

Maybe Ill just think about it some more and post it tonight.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Making changes...

Thanks everyone for the suggestions on the Zumba. I am still looking for a cheap copy.

I'm still doing well. I actually had a few pound gain on the scale but I don't take that to seriously since I obsessively weigh myself every day. If I actually took all of your advice then I wouldn't weigh myself every day and I would feel more successful.

I do have good news. Although I had a gain on the scale, I had a loss in my pant size. When I first started this weight loss thing in May I was waring a size 26. I posted here on how excited I was to even put on a pair of jeans after not being able to ware jeans since I was about three months pregnant in 2009. (Can I get a drum roll?) This past weekend I was able to put on a size 22 jeans and yesterday I actually wore them to work and was comfortable. AHHHHH!!! I do realize that size 22 is still as big as a house but, or just to give myself some credit, as big as half a house.

It feels VERY good to actually feel good. Now don't get me wrong, I am still avoiding mirrors, and I DONT like it when I walk past a sliding glass door and see my reflection staring back at me. I might need therapy for people who cant stand to look at themselves. LOL Maybe I need to change my expectations on how I "think" I should look? I am expecting to look the way I did in high school and when I see myself now I am just so disappointed. Maybe I will never look like that again. Am I still beautiful at 34? I just feel like I didn't get to enjoy my youth. Pregnancy took my body at the young age of 18. Of course it was my choice to make the decisions I did, but its really ironic how the mistakes of my past are affecting me now in ways I could not have imagined.

OK, so Ive decided (just now) to start changing my way of thinking. I am not the person I was in high school and I probably wont look like that again. I will start TRYING to love ME for who I am today and stop living in the past.

If you look in my header above, the picture of me standing beside the fence post is me in high school. I think its time to take it down and fill that spot with something more recent. What do you say? Does this sound like a good plan?

Bye bye high school me (that's me in the middle). Time to find a new funky fun version of me that I can accept.

Friday, September 3, 2010

I have a fat mommy to!

This week was so so busy. My weight has not changed and I have not started my exercise yet. I REALLY want the videos by "Zumba" but I just don't have the money. They are more expensive then I thought they would be when I planned on buying them a few months ago. Oh well. As of a couple days ago I have officially been eating healthy and trying to "find my skinny" for four months. That's pretty darn good.

I have to share this with you. I think you all will get a kick out of it...and after I picked my self-esteem up off the floor I was able to laugh about it as well.

As you know I work in a day care. I'm around kids all day long. They range from infants to school agers. Today, and on a particularly beautiful pre-fall day, I was holding the door open for a long line of four year olds. They all looked so cute with their short legs and poofy hair and big eyeballs. They were all very excited to be going outside to play for the first time today.

So as I said, I was holding the door open for the kiddos and I felt some little hands pulling on my shirt. I looked down to see a cute little brown haired girl calling my name and trying to get my attention. I quickly gave her my attention and asked her what she wanted. She looked looked at me while still pulling on my shirt and said:

"I have a fat mommy to!"

My face immediately went red. I looked around and saw that there were a few teachers standing there listening. Nobody said a word. I tried to laugh it off by saying... (TO A FOUR YEAR OLD MIND YOU)"I've lost fifty five pounds OK?" Certainly not my shining moment for sure. After all, it was a four year old and she was probably proud of her fat mommy and that's why she was comparing me to her. I was still embarrassed.

Anyone want to donate some Zumba work out videos to a fat momma?

Wednesday, September 1, 2010


Life is so much more exciting when I'm actually loosing weight. I'm loving it.

I have decided that if I reach a point that I am not loosing weight again then I will have to do what I have avoided since May.......exercise. I don't want to and I don't like to but it will have to be that way.

This morning I tipped the scales at 36.5 pounds lost since May 2nd and 55.6 pounds lost since June last year. Again, just to put it into perspective for myself...that's 9.125 pounds lost per month since may. So even though I stopped loosing weight for weeks on end, my stats are still pretty good.

I think my blog posts have been pretty boring lately. I'm going to have to spice it up with some more videos. What do you think? What motivates you?