Thursday, June 14, 2018

Brightlineeating day 6

Its 8:49 PM and I am about to hit the sack. Tomorrow will be a big huge test for me  my trend is to eat exceptional all week long and then basically gorge myself on Friday because I believed I deserved it. No wonder I was stuck in the 180's since November of last year. Sigh!! Tomorrow the goal is to stay on plan and to totally forgo my cheat day. My goals are bigger and more important than the taste of junk food. I'll be back tomorrow to talk about how it went.

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Brightlineeating day 5

Day five of bright line eating. Below are my three meals. No snacks...just coffee. 
Im feeling very good. I went for a four mile walk/hike in Black Forest this morning. I was not sure how that was going to go because I do not have the strength and energy as I did when I was eating tortillas and crackers and other four and sugar based foods. Something interesting is that my hunger is not as strong between meals and also I am starting to not feel as beaten down. I think my body is doing a great job of detoxing. In the bright line book Susan Pierce says to take each day with "bunny slippers." This really hits home for me. I have given myself a LOT more grace and love the past five days. I know what I am doing is not easy. Who can give up flour and sugar? The American diet is primarily based on flour and sugar. This applies even if you are a vegan or vegetarian. 
This is just day five though. I literally have to take this journey one day at a time.

What keeps me motivated? Well, honestly...for me to reach my goal weight is a goal I have had since 2010 when I originally started this. If I make it I might have a mental break down for a few minutes.....a MUCH deserved mental breakdown. (wink) 

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Brightline eating day 3 and 4

Here Is my weight for yesterday 185.7 and my weight for today 193.9 along with my food for yesterday. I am quite astonished at how the weight is falling off so quickly. That is over seven pounds in three days. I am going to keep it up and my goal is to blog each day for at least the first two weeks. 

One of the bright lines I am following (see previous posts for more info on bright line eating) is no snacks. You dont really realize how this will impact you until you CANT have snacks. Its no wonder I wasn't loosing weight. I would have a snack after breakfast and a snack after lunch and a snack before bed...snack snack snack. I actually feel hungry before a meal and I dont have any cravings right now except for coffee. I have not cut that out. I did stop using my powdered creamer for the first three days but this morning (day four) I did put a little in my coffee. This does blur my bright line a little because the powdered creamer has corn syrup proteins in it. Sigh!! Ill see how tomorrows number on the scale looks. That is the only line I have blurred so far. 

Well, day four has started. I really love breakfast because I get my one grain for the day. 

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Brightlineeating day 2

Day two is in the bag!!! I am still adjusting to this new way of eating but I actually love it. The truth is...when I'm out of control and eating everything I can get my hands on (usually on Friday cheat day) I do not feel happy. In fact I actually start feeling sick. It's so not worth it  I have been praying that Jesus would help me overcome this gluttony. It was really holding me back from my full potential that God created me to have.
I am so happy to be back ok in control.
I wanted to add that I am following the program but I am blurring my bright lines a little. I am still putting Carmel stevia in my coffee. This is not recommended and i know it but it's happening for now.
The good news is my weight is down four pounds from day one so something is working. This program is working for me. My meals are pictured below.

 Breakfast: 1 oz oats, one egg, one peach. I put PB2 in the oatmeal with cinnamon and cut out one egg.
 Lunch: 4 oz ground turkey with mrs. dash taco seasoning, butternut squash(six oz), one banana and one tbsp of peanut butter.
Dinner: 14 oz of greens and veggies, three oz of garbanzo beans with no added salt, lemon juice and tahini. 

Saturday, June 9, 2018

Brightlineeating Day 1 with life catch up

I started this blog in 2010 when I weighed 319 pounds. I had just given birth to my 5th child whom I relinquished to adoption a few months earlier.  At 319 pounds I realized that my life had spiraled out of control and I needed to find a way to get it back in control. I didn't know how I was going to do it but I knew I was going to do it no matter what. Fast forward two years and I was down 135 pounds and about 35 pounds from my goal weight. 

Today is 2018 and I have still not reached my goal weight.  The reality of this makes me extremely sad. I see lots of people around me that are living in maintenance land and I'm looking at myself saying "why can't you just do this one thing?"

My life is changed drastically in the last 5 and a 1/2 years. After I gave my son up for adoption I knew I would never have more children. But I guess that was my plan not Gods because with my new husband came 3 beautiful stepchildren. 

It has not been an easy 5 years for me. I have struggled with over eating and a little bit of alcholohism (blogs are about being honest right?) Yes its true, I turned to drinking. Drinking put about 50 pounds on my body putting me even further from my weight loss goal. Sigh!

You might ask....why do you want so desperatly to achieve this number? It's a good question for sure. It's not about being skinny, which is ironic that I named my blog "finding my skinny," but I don't want to achieve skinny.  Before I became pregnant at 18 years old and entered a very abusive relationship I weighed 135 pounds. To me  135 pounds represents the time before I became damaged and broken.  Now my goal weight is not a 135 pounds, because I don't feel that is realistic, so I have set it at 150. 
For me, losing all this fat is like saying goodbye to the pain and suffering of the past. 

In November of 2016 I made a trip to Michigan to visit my birthstone and his beautiful family. I weighed in at about 235 and the pictures show it  I do not feel good or look good at 235. I decided that when I got home I was going to make a change....again. sigh! So I did. I joined weight watchers and lost 48 pounds in 2017....and then in 2018 weight watchers changed there plan and I stopped losing weight. This could have been my me rephrase was my fault. You see...I like to make my own rules. I tip to around the true issues and do what feels "COMFORTABLE" to me. What did that look like? Well I had successfully given up my alchohol (best decision Ever) but I wasn't willing to give up my Friday cheat day. I would completely go off the weight watchers plan on Friday and basically gorge myself to the point of being sick again and then white  Knuckle It through the rest of the week, All the while day dreaming about all the food I was gonna eat on Friday, and then when Friday came around gorge myself again. No wonder I wasn't losing weight. (Deep breaths) 

So here I sit. Its Saturday morning. I weigh in at 191.4 and I've been pretty miserable with this way of living soooo.....I'm trying something new....again and today is my first day. I am going to try my best to blog every day for the first two weeks at least. I did so well when I was accountable here. 

So what is it? What's the new plan you might ask? Good question.  With this new plan there will be no cheat days. It's called "brightlineeating" and there are basically four bright lines I will not cross. There is much science behind this but I will go into that later. My four bright lines are:
1. No sugar
2. No flour
3. Three meals a day no snacks
4. Quantities-measure your food 

This takes the guess work out for me. I have taken my measurements and my before pics. I will post them below and my first breakfast. I feel very positive about this and excited.  I'm tired of feeling so bad about myself. So day I come. 

Bust: 38.5 inches
Buttox: 47.0
Waistline: 38.5
Thighs: 29.5
Calves: 18.5
Arms in the air(extra skin hiding)15.0