Sunday, June 10, 2012

No more fooling around....

My weight is sitting at about 195-196 right now. I had surgery three weeks ago (hysterectomy) and right after my weight was 193. I have only worked out two times since the surgery and I feel like a big fat slob. Its so weird how you feel so much fatter then the scale actually shows. My muscle tone goes away very fast if I dont exercise and turns right to jello. I feel discusting and I'm tired of it. I feel strong enough now to get back on the wagon. Starting Monday I will be really counting my calories and I think I'm going to start paying attention to carbs. I will not be going carb free but I think Ive been over doing it in the carb area and that is why I am not loosing weight very fast. On a negative note...the more weight I loose the thinner my face gets and all my wrinkles show. I'm starting to look old. Gone are the rosy blush cheeks. I know its just the process of aging but Its a little disheartening. I'm hoping to come to a place where I can accept how I look and just roll with it. Even though surgery set me back a little, I think I can regain control. For some reason after the surgery (I kept one ovary) my appetite went through the roof. I wasn't necessarily eating junk, but I was eating more then before and I also craved honey toast and ate a lot of that during recovery. That's why I think the carb thing needs to be monitored. LOL I have NO IDEA why I needed to eat more after surgery but it scared me to think about gaining all my weight back. Ive noticed a slow down in my appetite now and that makes me feel better. Ill post more later. I need to get my measurements and post them just so I can keep up with that. Ill see about pictures as well to help me stay motivated. Its amazing what a full length picture can do for your takes it right away.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012


I was looking back at my blog and realized that it has been a long time since I posted my measurements.....almost a year in fact. I measured myself this morning and decided to compare it to the numbers from when I originally started this journey in 2010. Its pretty incredible to think that I was THAT HUGE!! Look at the difference in the numbers. The last time I measured myself was in May of last year. You can see those numbers here. I'm not seeing the pounds go down very fast (about 45 per year) so to see the inches fall off is very encouraging. 

Buttock: 60.5 inches (NOW 47.5)
Waist: 49.5 inches (NOW 38.5)
Upper arm: 17 inches (NOW 13.5)
Calf: 22 inches (NOW 17.5)
Bust: 50.5 inches (NOW 40.5)

What a lot of work it took to get to where I am.....and I'm not done yet. My favorite saying lately "To get results, you have to put in the work." Nothing is free or easy except Salvation...everything else takes endurance and sweat...and tears....but then you get the reward. I'm just taking deep breaths over here. 

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Totally random

So I'm still at it. I had an OB appointment yesterday and according to their records Ive lost 38 pounds in the last year. At first I was very disappointed in that number....a whole year and only 38 pounds???? I expected more...but then I divided it by twelve and its about a three pound loss per month. According to my research that is actually healthy. So after much thought, I'm kinda proud.

The picture above is me this week at work. Its quite a reality check when you see yourself in a full body picture. I have short legs and big thighs. LOL But HELL....I used to be in a size 28 and now I'm a 13/14. There is something to be said about that.

I bought a treadmill with my taxes. It was the best 700 dollars Ive ever spent. I love it. My total gym is collecting dust as I have one more payment on it until its paid off. Why do some things work for me and others don't? I tried to sell my Zumba but couldn't so I loaned it to my sister. I cant quite give it away since it was the key to my success for so long.....not to mention how much fun it is.

My son talked me into another dog today.....uggggg!!! We will get little Mocha on Sunday. She is a five year old mini cocker spaniel. Quite the little cutie. We will see if I loose my mind over this decision.

In odd OB appointment confirmed that my uterus is the size of a ten week pregnancy....and no I am not pregnant. I will have an ultrasound in a week to confirm its fibroids....but the bottom line is Ill probably have a hysterectomy within the next two years. That's fine with me....I don't need or want to have any more babies.

Also, when I was at the doctors they took my height. Now all these years I have been telling people I was 5'6.....only to find out that my short legs only bring me to 5'4. LOL I wonder who got it wrong???? Or did I shrink? I'm only 36.

My daughter is turning sixteen without me in a few weeks. My birth son is becoming a brother as we speak, and I'm trying hard enjoy all of this from very far away. Sometimes I just need some whisky (Jack Daniels Honey Whisky FOR SURE LOL).

Thursday, February 23, 2012

It been awhile.....

 Its been six years since Ive seen the number 195. The last time I weighed that was before Skyler was born seven year ago. Its an incredible feeling.
I also cut my hair very short. Im not sure what to think about it yet.
Im feeling a little more positive about life....

Wednesday, February 22, 2012


Life is is hard...being a mom is hard. This is not new news to anyone but Ive just been feeling it a little more lately. I have so much to learn about myself. Dating is really different for me. Ive never been in a relationship that lasted so long (in the dating faze that is). Its been seven months and sometime I have no idea what is going on or where it is going. I try to be satisfied with what I have but I cant help but think about what I ultimately want and I'm just not sure that will ever happen. Am I really doomed to grow old alone? That thought scares me. I just want to start a life with someone by my side, someone who will be there when the kids are gone, someone who will get wrinkles with me...I want I want I want. Life doesnt always give us what we want does it?
Depressing.....why do I have to be so depressing?
I am thankful that I have lost four pounds since I started the treadmill. I'm down to 196 from 199 a couple weeks ago. At least that's working....

Friday, February 10, 2012

Its working....

Ive worked out all week...and today is the first day I saw an actual drop on the scale. Ive gone from 199 to 197.4. So wonderful!!!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


I think I have finally got my groove back. After months and months of not gaining and not really loosing I was in a rut!! I didn't like Zumba anymore...much less any exercise and so I stayed steady...eating OK but not making progress. Thank God over the last six months of me not focusing on my weight loss I didn't gain a whole bunch back.

I got my tax money back and decided it was time to go back to the old treadmill and walk/run these last 50 pounds off. I searched around town for the best deal...making sure not to sacrifice quality (a cheap treadmill is like throwing away money), and I found what I wanted at Costco. It literally took four people to get this over three hundred pound treadmill into my tiny town home. It was so worth it. This thing has all the bells and whistles...a built in fan...pulse monitor...IPod dock...and it included Julian Michael's IFitness program (which I have yet to figure out.) I'm so happy with my purchase.

Sadly I am extremely out of shape and can barley run 30 seconds at a time without going back to walking...but Ill work up to it. Its really fun to be in competition with yourself.

So as it stands right weight is 199. Thats still 120 pounds lost (all by myself) with 49 pounds to go!!! Also, I found this wonderful FREE app on my phone called "myfitnesspal." Its wonderful because I can log my foods and it counts my calories (it put me on 1200 cals per day).It tracks my exercise and I can even have buddies. If anyone is interested then leave your email address in the comments and Ill invite you. You can do it online or if you have a smart phone you can find the app with that name.

I'm so excited to get my groove back. Its good to be accountable again for every bite taste and lick. Everything counts again and I'm excited to be focused.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012


Discouraged that the scale is still sitting at 200. Sigh!!!!!!

Monday, January 30, 2012

This blog...

I really think that posting on this blog is going to help me be a little more accountable and also your comments and knowing people are in this with me helps so Im going to try and get on here more. I also need to start posting more because its fun LOL...and two because it shows me how I look right now.

I am really bad at commenting back when people ask questions so Im going to try and be better at that. Annalisa201 asked me about my boyfriend, and Chuck. LOL Annalisa, no my boyfriend is not the one who wants a "skinny" women and will pay me 500 dollars when I get to 150; however, he still texts me and asks how much I weigh and If I still have a boyfriend. LOL Funny guy! Yes, I still use the total gym but not very often. I dont know why some things take and some things dont. Zumba was my best friend for so long but now I cant get back into it. I hope the treadmill takes like the Zumba did. I still have the Zumba if you wanted to buy it. It cost 100 (with shipping) but Id let it go for 55.

mommabear asked if 30 minutes of Zumba was good enough? Yes!!!!! Of course it is but most of the Zumba CD's are longer then 30 minutes. Actually, I have learned that you really only need 20-30 minutes of cardio for it to be effective...and most of the Zumba CD's were about 50 minutes (THATS FIFTY MINUTES OF PURE FUN THOUGH!!!!)

A few asked about my boyfriend. He is wonderful. He could really care less if I lost weight. He likes me just the way I am. Also....we have been dating for about seven months now and we are exclusive. WHOOP WHOOP!!

A few people have mentioned how frustrated you have been and how hard it is to work so hard at eating right and exercising and not see the scale move. Some people say not to weigh yourself every day, but I cant help motivates me and it also reassures me that the scale isn't going UP!!!!

They have a new diet out called the HCG diet. It used to be where you could only get it through a doctor but now they sale it in....WALMART!!!! LOL Anyway, I was standing in line at the Walmart check out line and there was a fairly large looking couple behind me and they saw the HCG pills and started commenting on it. I could hear the lady telling the man that it was a GREAT diet and in literally melts your fat away. I nearly busted out laughing. Normally I dont say anything but this time I had to. Here is how the conversation went....

Me: So you heard that the HCG pills work hugh?

Lady: Oh yes, it melt your fat.

Me: Wow! So, do you know if it makes you follow a diet or do the pills do all the work?

Lady: Oh HAVE to follow the diet and use the pills. I haven't actually tried them myself but I have a friend that does.

Me: Do you think that you could loose weight by just following the diet and not taking the pills?

Lady: (she laughs out loud) Yes, you are probably right.

I told her that I had lost 122 pounds and to not waste her money because there was no magic pill. Only hard work and perseverance will get you to a healthy weight. I am just so shocked about how many money maker diet pills there are out there. Its astounding and sad.

Thanks for your encouragment ladies. You modivate me. One more quetion, does anyone else have a "night eating" habit? If so do you have any suggestions on how NOT to eat in the middle of the night?

Fed up

I am so fed up with not loosing any weight. I'm very disappointed in myself. I'm at the same weight and to be honest I think I'm a few pounds up. I'm still under 200 but I should be way farther along then I am. Its time to go back to basics. Today I will take my notebook to work and start logging every bite taste and meal. I'm also waiting on my tax return because Im going to buy a treadmill. I don't think I can go back to Zoomba although I loved it for so doesn't fit into my busy lifestyle anymore. A treadmill will give me a good 30 minute work out before work and Ill be good to go. The total gym is amazing as well because (again) its a quick work out.
(Id love to sell my zumba if someone is interested)
So, its good that I'm fed up. I still have been pretty good with my eating but I again am struggling with eating in the middle of the night and unfortunately Ive gotten lazy and instead of making a healthy meal, Ill eat a bowl of cereal (I would have NEVER done that before).

Anyway, I'm headed to work but I know Ive been absent from this blog and you sweet ladies have been checking on me. I really need motivation. I need to get started again.....Its really hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ill be back.