Saturday, July 18, 2015

So dang hard..

Normally on Friday nights I will have my cheat night. Usually it's lots of pizza and boneless wings and lots of alcohol. (I'm just being honest) I have talked about this before but my cheat nights would extend into the weekend and I noticed that I wasn't loosing weight and worst of all I was falling into a depression because I knew I wasn't making good choices. 

I am so excited to report that somehow I was able to not cheat at all last night. I went to Zumba, came home, at a chicken wrap, watched tv with my husband, and then went to bed. Sound birding? Yes it sure does but I think I've had enough fun over the years and if I want to reach my goals I have to do this. I have to make better choices. I prayed and told God that I couldn't do it without him. I need Him desperately. I can not do this on my own. 

Some people think I'm too obsessed. They say things like " you look great already, why do you have to get to 150 pounds" or I get "you have to have a cheat night to be successful" and the best one "as long as your exercising you can eat whatever you want. " I hear it all, but I know ultimatly I have to live with my decisions. I know how I feel about myself when I don't eat right or when I don't exercise. So as the great musician Michal Jackson sang "I'm gonna make a change, for once in my life. It's gonna feel real good I'm gonna make a difference I'm gonna make it right. " 

With that said, this is hard. It's hard to make decisions on your own knowing that someone else thinks your boring or doing it wrong. I feel very alone and kind of scared. In my heart I know I'm making the right decisions by not drinking and passing up the high sodium high fat "fun" foods, but it doesn't make it easier. This is such a lonely journey. But....

Here's to a better life.