Frustrated!!

I don't know why I torture myself. I should not have stepped on the scale today. 188 is 4 pounds up from the beginning of the year. I am doing everything I'm supposed to be doing. I even upped my calories because my workouts are so intense from 1300 to 1500 a day to 1700 to 1800 today. Everyone kept telling me to eat more. So I am and I gain. Ugh! I started P90X last week. I'm just going to keep marching on. I know consistency works. I just can't figure out why loosing 130 pounds was so much easier than loosing these last 35. I could just scream this morning. I usually have my once a week cheat meal tonight. I think I might skip it. #needencouragement