Sunday, August 15, 2010

As much as it pains me...

and it does pain me to do this, but If I don't then I wont stay accountable. Since I hit the fifty pounds loss mark last week I have been feeling pretty good about myself. In fact, I felt so good that I decided it was time to start putting myself out Unfortunately I discovered that even though I feel like I am ready to date, my body isn't. The hard truth is that I am not much to look at....yet. When men see me they only see a fat lady, not what is inside. I'm not saying that to be harsh towards myself but the reality is that the first thing we look at is the outside. Now I know I am not an ugly person. I know I have a good heart and that I have a lot of love to give someone, but I don't have the whole package yet. Its been about two years since I dated, and it looks like now it will be longer unless God sends me a VERY patient and understanding man to go through this weight loss journey with me.

Ahem...(tapping foot) "God are you listening to this?"

So without further I am today before church looking as goofy as ever. In fact, I think this shirt may just be to big on me. Whats your take? I think it makes me look bigger...but I cant be sure.
And here is my and my sister two days ago. I'm on the left of course. Isn't she beautiful? I love my baby sister. So there you have it. I have once again documented my body. It makes me feel good. I hope those pants don't fit me for long.


mak'n Changes said...

HOLY. COW! You have clearly lost A LOT of weight! As far as the shirt goes, I don't think it looks bad BUT this is my advice......don't wear shirts that are to loose and blousy cause they have a tendency to look frumpy. Fitted shirts exude confidence and look better put together. Its too easy to get into the "hide behind the shirt" mentality. You are an ever shrinking beauty so show it off cousin.
love u!

BeckyT said...

The shirt does look too big, go shopping buy yourself something a little more fitted. You are doin so well you really deserve it.

I personally have problems with tops fitting. My torso and shoulders are smaller than my hips and bottom so to fit at the top they are tight where they land or sit on top of my thighs/bum. Or if I get a size bigger, my shoulders and boobs disappear behind a tent of fabric. It looks a similar problem with your shirt.

Keep on going and as you gain more confidence dating will come round as you feel better about yourself. Good luck.

Annjeri said...

You are doing great sis!! I know that clothing can be a frustrating thing as you are losing weight. The good thing is, yes it looks too big--so that means you get to have a smaller size!!! Yahoooo!!!! You are beautiful. Some guy (hopefully kind and gentle) will have his heart melting at your feet.
By the way, I like that picture of us. I just wish the rosacea weren't so prominent on my face. ;-)

Rebekah said...

You look amazing, Rebekah!! Definitely time for some snugger shirts :)

Annalisa@Gracie'sGarden said...

First off, you have clearly lost lots of weight! CONGRATS!!! The shirt is a bit too big, but it doesn't look bad. There's something about the thick neckline that isn't right... the same shirt with a scooping rounded thin-lined neckline would suit better, although I'm partial to v-necks myself... I think it's the thick hem that looks off...

LOL I am SO not fashion savvy though, so just ignore that :)

Also, I wanted to share a little story. I was not even a Christian when I prayed a little prayer, in my bed late at night, tears streaming down my face, desperate for God to listen as I poured out my heart... I needed and prayed for a specific man... one that would not only love and adore me, but also my two small children. Someone who loved music, outdoors and someone who could be a FATHER to these two children of mine. It was a specific prayer for a husband and a father for my family.

6 months later I met Johnny, and about 4 months after that I became a Christian. Looking back, it was a miracle. A big one. It was as if Johnny had been hand-picked just for me. God had plucked him out of Australia and placed him in a small town Colorado just for me. I had only been there a year myself (long and even more interesting story) and it was such a small window of time where our two lives collided, a thing that could have only been orchestrated by the Creator Himself. I know it's hard to believe, I can't believe it most days myself. But here I am, four years later, living a dream in Brisbane, Australia, beautiful Australia, great schools, wonderful life! John grew up with a step-father, so he's the most wonderful dad you could imagine, and a even more wonderful husband - all my girl friends are jealous. He loves our two older children (notice OUR children) and doesn't love our third any less or more. Four years later God is still blessing me over and over and over, because I believe. It's all he asks. "Follow me" He says. That's it. He is faithful. His Word is true. He loves you so much and has your life planned out for you - better than you can imagine or dream of. xoxoxo

Mommy2Four said... look great! Keep it up!

And about dating.....I swore off men, and God sent me a wonderful man who fell in love with, and married me, at my alltime heaviest!

:) 100 pounds later, he's pretty proud of me!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the 50. What a huge accomplishment. I know you don't like to exercise but what about a simple walk or maybe doing an extra dance each week. Something to jump start your weight loss again. I have noticed over the years that diet and exercise need to be combined or the weight will creep right back on if you get out the diet part. Exercising allows you that treat once in awhile and still keep the weight off.
I know I have to journal what I am eating/drinking or I forget. I just found this website with recipes for normal food. Stuff that I know My family would eat too. She puts weight watcher points if people are doing that but healthy food.

Good luck with your journey. I am right there with you. It is hard work but when I see the pounds drop...I get a big smile and it feels good. Good luck.