Thanks everyone for the suggestions on the Zumba. I am still looking for a cheap copy.
I'm still doing well. I actually had a few pound gain on the scale but I don't take that to seriously since I obsessively weigh myself every day. If I actually took all of your advice then I wouldn't weigh myself every day and I would feel more successful.
I do have good news. Although I had a gain on the scale, I had a loss in my pant size. When I first started this weight loss thing in May I was waring a size 26. I posted here on how excited I was to even put on a pair of jeans after not being able to ware jeans since I was about three months pregnant in 2009. (Can I get a drum roll?) This past weekend I was able to put on a size 22 jeans and yesterday I actually wore them to work and was comfortable. AHHHHH!!! I do realize that size 22 is still as big as a house but, or just to give myself some credit, as big as half a house.
It feels VERY good to actually feel good. Now don't get me wrong, I am still avoiding mirrors, and I DONT like it when I walk past a sliding glass door and see my reflection staring back at me. I might need therapy for people who cant stand to look at themselves. LOL Maybe I need to change my expectations on how I "think" I should look? I am expecting to look the way I did in high school and when I see myself now I am just so disappointed. Maybe I will never look like that again. Am I still beautiful at 34? I just feel like I didn't get to enjoy my youth. Pregnancy took my body at the young age of 18. Of course it was my choice to make the decisions I did, but its really ironic how the mistakes of my past are affecting me now in ways I could not have imagined.
OK, so Ive decided (just now) to start changing my way of thinking. I am not the person I was in high school and I probably wont look like that again. I will start TRYING to love ME for who I am today and stop living in the past.
If you look in my header above, the picture of me standing beside the fence post is me in high school. I think its time to take it down and fill that spot with something more recent. What do you say? Does this sound like a good plan?
Bye bye high school me (that's me in the middle). Time to find a new funky fun version of me that I can accept.