Life...

Life is hard...dating is hard...being a mom is hard. This is not new news to anyone but Ive just been feeling it a little more lately. I have so much to learn about myself. Dating is really different for me. Ive never been in a relationship that lasted so long (in the dating faze that is). Its been seven months and sometime I have no idea what is going on or where it is going. I try to be satisfied with what I have but I cant help but think about what I ultimately want and I'm just not sure that will ever happen. Am I really doomed to grow old alone? That thought scares me. I just want to start a life with someone by my side, someone who will be there when the kids are gone, someone who will get wrinkles with me...I want I want I want. Life doesnt always give us what we want does it?
Depressing.....why do I have to be so depressing?
I am thankful that I have lost four pounds since I started the treadmill. I'm down to 196 from 199 a couple weeks ago. At least that's working....