The burn

I'm starting to get used to the burn. I'm in the middle of my fifth work out this week. I'm incredibly proud of myself. My only regret is a piece of banana bread last night. Hoping it won't matter.

 

Not a good number!!

This was not the number I wanted to see when I went to the doctor just three short weeks ago. When I got married in February I weighed 188. Shocked….disappointed….sad!!! I remember when I had my “aha” moment over three years ago when
I saw the number 319 on the scale and decided enough was enough. This was that moment….again!!!

How does a person go backwards when they have worked so hard to get where they are at? I was determined to find out what was going wrong. How have things changed? What am I doing different?

For me gaining weight back is like slowly dying. I didn’t like who I was over three  years ago and I don’t like seeing that number above.  Time to reevaluate.  Im stronger then that.

After lots of thought and many conversations with my husband I think I was able to pin point the changes that had taken place. The first one is I became full time care giver for five kids all summer. I literally had one day off per week. That’s a lot of kids and a lot of busyness. You might ask how that effected my day….well it left NO time to work out so even though I was still active my body was not getting that extra push to lose weight that I have been accustom to. Second, there was all those extra “bites and nibbles” of my husbands deserts and drinks. Even if I wouldn’t dish up my own bowl of ice cream, I would still “share” with him. I am a firm believer that you have to count your “bites, licks, and nibbles,” because they add up.

Those are the two things that I believe are the reasons my weight went up. So I had to put together a game plan right? After all, if your not happy with the way things are then YOU have to do something to change it. Nobody else was going to do it for me…I had to figure it out on my own. Now onto present day…..

I LONG to finish this journey that I started. My original goal was to loose 50 pounds. Unfortunately, now I am a little set back with a little over 50 to loose but Im still determined.

About two years ago I purchased a Total Gym. I thought it would be a great new tool to loosing the last bit of weight that I had to loose but unfortunately I didn’t like it as much as I thought I would. My little town home was too little to use it properly and it just wasn’t very “fun” to me. Everyone knows that exercising sucks anyway, so if you don’t find something that you enjoy then you probably wont do it because you don’t look forward to it.

SOOOOO…last week I sold my total gym and I bought a Smith Machine(picture on the right). I have known for awhile that for me to loose the rest of the weight I have to loose then I need to strength train….lift weights. This machine is amazing. I love it and there are so many things you can do with it. The best part is that its safe. You can lift heavier weights safely without someone being with you. I love pushing the limits on what my body can do. I have so so so much work to do. My body is sadly so ugly looking from being so overweight. I try to hide it by wearing tight jeans (to keep things in place) but the sad reality is I am pretty sure I cant fix it. Needless to say I have a LOOONNNGGG way to go but I am strong, and I am up for the challenge. Ive been doing this for two weeks now. Its very hard work and its pretty painful at times but I have learned that to gain beauty (inside and out) you must go through pain.

Hoping to blog more often now that the kids are in school. I miss it here and I miss all my blog friends!!!