No more fooling around....

My weight is sitting at about 195-196 right now. I had surgery three weeks ago (hysterectomy) and right after my weight was 193. I have only worked out two times since the surgery and I feel like a big fat slob. Its so weird how you feel so much fatter then the scale actually shows. My muscle tone goes away very fast if I dont exercise and turns right to jello. I feel discusting and I'm tired of it. I feel strong enough now to get back on the wagon. Starting Monday I will be really counting my calories and I think I'm going to start paying attention to carbs. I will not be going carb free but I think Ive been over doing it in the carb area and that is why I am not loosing weight very fast. On a negative note...the more weight I loose the thinner my face gets and all my wrinkles show. I'm starting to look old. Gone are the rosy blush cheeks. I know its just the process of aging but Its a little disheartening. I'm hoping to come to a place where I can accept how I look and just roll with it. Even though surgery set me back a little, I think I can regain control. For some reason after the surgery (I kept one ovary) my appetite went through the roof. I wasn't necessarily eating junk, but I was eating more then before and I also craved honey toast and ate a lot of that during recovery. That's why I think the carb thing needs to be monitored. LOL I have NO IDEA why I needed to eat more after surgery but it scared me to think about gaining all my weight back. Ive noticed a slow down in my appetite now and that makes me feel better. Ill post more later. I need to get my measurements and post them just so I can keep up with that. Ill see about pictures as well to help me stay motivated. Its amazing what a full length picture can do for your appetite...it takes it right away.